Friday, 31 December 2010

.happy new year.

happy new year everyone!

well, this little baby is for sure gonna be a 2011 baby, it's just a matter of when at this point...

so, while all of you watch snooki drop like a hamster in a ball tonight, i may be delivering a baby.  i wish i could do both...god, she actually does look like a hamster when i think about it.  i freaking love her.

be safe out there kids!


Tuesday, 28 December 2010

.a reflection of 2010.


so, i am now 38 weeks and 2 days (who's counting?).  this means that i could have this little stinker any day now - 38 to 42 weeks is the norm.  so, we wait.  

with every twinge or pain, i feel myself being a little more aware...

in the last 2 weeks, it has been a busy household, with christmas, and other commitments, appointments, sickness, and even a debacle with our dog, luda.  it has been cray-cray around here.  so, with christmas over, and sickness almost (please god) gone, i am ready to get back to posting.

this post is all about the last year.  in fact, one year ago today, nick and i were in paris together - and on this very day, he proposed to me!  it was magical, and i will never forget it.  now if anyone would have told me what was going to happen during this year, i would have NEVER believed them...things were SO different then!  i will paint you a picture...

last year, nick and i lived together in los angeles.  we had just moved out of our massive downtown loft and studio traded that for  a much slower and quieter pasadena house.  we were enjoying our simple-ish lives together, with minimal responsibility to anyone other than to each other and our fur baby, luda (sounds disgusting - i am aware).  as i mentioned, we had come to europe for the holidays - and a surprise trip to paris left us engaged and bright-eyed heading into the new year.  i came home to boxes in our new house, luda, and without nick.  it sucked, but he had to wait for his visa so he could return to america.  i had a work trip planned in costa rica the last week of january, and the day i left, was the day he came home - we actually spent 2 hours together at the denny's by lax before having to part again.  the rest of the year was a lot of travel for both of us - nick's band touring, and me going places to work...oh yeah, and MOVING TO ANOTHER COUNTRY!

so i started the year 29, without child, and engaged - in america, and finished the year 30, knocked up, married, and living in england.  wtf?!  so crazy, and i have never been happier.  well, i am super stressed at the moment, but i am genuinely happy.  happy with what my life and future look like, with the man that i truly love, who puts up with my shit, and compliments me in every way - my shortcomings are his strengths, and vice versa.  i am having a baby - I AM HAVING A BABY!!!!  and am so excited (terrified) to become a mommy, i can't even tell you.

anyway, so it was a huge year, a crazy year.  looking forward to what 2011 brings.  here is a wrap up of 2010 in pictures...

the loft and luda

going to paris!

le pretty

happy girl

my gorgeous ring that nick designed himself!

our engagement party

our bedroom in our new pasadena house

our dining room

our awesome backyard...lots of bbq's

costa rica

leaving on a jet plane

at the dog park

valentine's day party

out with my love

working in the desert


80's party

in laguna with my mom

gettin picked up in austin



out with the crew

i became an aunt for the first time!

and a mommy!

my belly

 we got hitched

nick turned 27

 i got did luda

we had a baby shower

 michael jackson came

my sister turned 25

we went to palm springs

palm springs

out with some of our best friends

the dog beach!

leaving on a jet my new home

 the view

my new home

i baked a pie, and nick decorated...


breastfeeding class

a belly pic

i turned 30, and got THIS!

we skyped with luda on christmas

and now we wait for a little boy to get here...


Tuesday, 14 December 2010

.3, 2, 1, relaxxxx.

well, as some of you may or may not know, i have decided to incorporate hypnobirth into my repertoire of techniques i will use in labor.  hypno-what?  i'm so glad you asked!

hypnobirth is actually the practice of self - hypnosis, deep relaxation, and visualization during labor and delivery.  and while some of you are chuckling thinking of me doing some chant, or being unconscious where i am unaware of anything going on...wrong!  using this method, you teach yourself how to go into deep relaxation instantly, as well as alter the way your brain thinks about pain.

from the website (
HypnoBirthing is based on the premise that childbirth does not necessarily need to be painful if the mother is properly prepared and relaxed. When women understand that pain is caused by constrictor hormones, created by fear, they learn, instead, to release fear thus creating endorphins—the feel good hormones. They are then able to change their expectations of long, painful labor and are able to replace them with expectations of a more comfortable birthing.  Rather than exhausting, shallow breathing and the distraction techniques of typical “prepared childbirth” programs, HypnoBirthing parents learn deep abdominal breathing and total relaxation, enabling the laboring mother to work in harmony with her body and her baby. This allows her to achieve a shorter and more comfortable labor for herself and baby.

many women who have used this method report a painless childbirth!  now people (especially those of you who have had kids, and are rolling on the floor laughing at this point, screaming EPIDURALLLLLL!!!), i do not expect to get a completely pain-free birth out of this, but i hope to gain a sense of mental control, confidence and empowerment out of it.

i have been studying this for a few weeks now (i wish i would have started sooner!), and can get so relaxed every time i do it, that i fall asleep!  in practicing, it is totally fine to fall asleep, since when i am actually in labor, i will use quicker methods to get relaxed, instead of the 30-40 minute sessions i do now.

lots of women hire a hypnobirth coach, which would be great, since they coach you and your birth partner on techniques, key words to use, special touches for the birth partner to use, etc.  they also give you work to do on your own time, and a cd to listen to that helps bring you into deep relaxation.  we did'nt hire anyone, and were a little late to start, so i ordered the cd, and have been working on my own.  i listen to the cd in the bath, and comfy in bed 2-3 times a week, and will listen everyday once i hit 38 weeks.  nick helps too!

i've done lots of research, and believe that this will really compliment the water birth i am planning, especially since i will be unable to use pain meds.  our minds are so incredible (especially mine, lol), we should give them a chance to help us through one of the hardest things we ever physically do in our lives.  i expect good things, even if every bit of my practicing seems to go out the window when the shit actually hits the fan.  i think i will retain at least something from my practice, and i know that nick will be able to help me re-focus if i get lost and start to freak.


Monday, 13 December 2010

.drink, pee, repeat.

so it's been a week since i last wrote - it's been a little crazy over here getting ready for christmas and a baby.  but, i'm back!

to update, i think that my little monster has turned around into the proper position, because my bladder is, umm,, super turbo active.  let's hope so, anyway, i will have another appt. with my midwife on wednesday to find out.  fingers crossed!!

so this is how it goes - i seriously can't get enough water!  i drink it all day everyday, and that's pretty much all i drink except for the occasional cup of tea (i love england!), a shake, or if i juice something.  besides that, it is H20 all the way.  (ok, ok, i have had like 2 bottles of coke randomly since i have been here...but it was BOTTLES!!!  the best!!!)

anyway, it seems that drinking lots of water makes you have to pee - who knew?!  jk.  put that together with being pregnant, and it's worse.  put that together with being LATE in your pregnancy, and it is almost comical!  i get up through the night, i pretty much pee every 30 mins, and almost always feel like i could pee due to my little man tap dancing on my bladder (let's hope he is actually head butting it though).

ok, and this is totally t.m.i., but that's ok, because this is my blog, and i will say what i but even when i am done peeing, have wiped, whatever - sometimes (ok, most of the time) i go to get up, and more pee comes out!  that shit ain't funny!  ok, it is, especially if you pee on yourself accidentally.  and i am not too proud to say that the other day i peed on my own foot.  i was at home THANK GOD! but i was was totally gross, but i couldn't have helped it if i tried!  not a lot of pee, just a dribble (so gross).  some of you will be shaking your heads, remembering the days...and some of you will be sitting in horror, deciding that you don't want to have a baby EVER.  

don't fear too much, you learn how to cope with these special little things that your body does to drive you insane during pregnancy.  for example, i do this awesome side, front lean when i think i am done, and usually this maneuver pushes more out...not sure why or how, but i am thankful.

here are a couple of images of my belly today - i am absolutely HUGE!  i know the quality is terrible (especially for a photographer), but they are from photobooth on my mac book pro.  i just wanted a little instant gratification...