.i never want to see another saltine.

so once i found out i was preggers, my body was like, "cool, meet your new friend - vomit".  no joke - the day after i found out, i suddenly felt like i was in the bathroom more often than not.  i couldn't keep anything down, and i didn't want to eat, but i had to.  it was awful.


what's worse, is that it lasted for the next 4 months...

imagine yourself in the grocery store - you're walking down the aisles, picking out what you need, and then you cruise past the meat department....now picture yourself visibly dry-heaving from the sight and smell, while the meat man silently judges you.  i mean, he has no idea that you're pregnant, he probably thinks you are some overly dramatic vegan or something.  let me tell you how many times i almost lost my lunch in a public place...try at least twice a day.  and more times than i would like to admit (to my absolute horror), i actually would.  'oh, don't mind me, i'm just gonna throw up in this trashcan now...what, you're eating?  sorrrryyyyyyy'.  i wish i were making this up.


i survived on saltines, and hard candy.  it was brutal.
there were saltines everywhere - next to my bed, in the car, in my purse, on the coffee table...i might as well have (you guessed it) had one one a necklace just in case.  i had jolly ranchers coming out of my ears (god bless those delicious little candies!)


at around week 8 or 9, i had a complete breakdown.  i literally cried my eyes out about eating.  you totally realize how bad your eating habits were before you were pregnant.  my problem wasn't really eating bad stuff (except on occasion), mine was that i didn't eat often enough.  i would let myself starve all day, and then realize how hungry i was, and chow down.  this is bad, everyone.  it's not that i was deliberately not eating - i was busy, and just didn't think about it sometimes until i was literally ready to rip someone's head off.


so, when i got pregnant, and found out how often i needed to eat (and how much), i was struggling - big time.  lots of women are probably excited that they have an excuse to eat what they want, when they want, but it was really hard for me!  having to prepare food all the time, (and trying to make sure what i was eating was healthy) was hard enough - i guess what really made it worse, was that i was getting sick between eating, so when i would be sick, i would have to eat AGAIN.  it was a horrible cycle.  i felt like a cooking / eating/ vomiting machine.  plus, nick was still away, so i was doing everything around the house, looking after the dog, and still trying to work in between naps, crying, cooking and bathroom trips.


oh, those days were tough.  it was so wonderful when nick finally got home.  i will tell you more about that later.  lets just say he passed the test with flying colors.  thankfully, eating is much more enjoyable these days, but i still never want to eat another saltine in my life...or at least until my next pregnancy.


xx