.maternity pictures.

i can not tell you how important i think it is to have maternity pictures done - at least the first time around!  ladies!  our bodies are AMAZING!  to think that our bodies can stretch to accomodate one - sometimes more than one baby!  it seriously blows my mind.

now, i totally understand that some of us have pregnancy fat face/ass worse than others. i find myself super lucky.  i have definitely filled out in my face, arms, thighs, boobs (yay!), and bootie.  i have to say though, i really love my pregnant body - new cellulite and all.

we have to immortalize our bodies during this time - you can be as modest, or as free with your body as you like.  what matters is capturing this miracle - of just you, or even better, with 'yo baby daddy' too!  i wish that when i had mine done, that nick was still in america, but he was already in england.  my pics were super rushed - i actually did them two days before i moved to england!  i knew i needed them to be done before i left because i didn't know any photographers in england, and let me tell you how important it is to have someone good.  THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER!!!!!  ok, at least to me.

you need someone that knows how to make a woman look and feel beautiful, hide her flaws, and celebrate her best features.  someone who will make you feel super comfortable, and even sexy while you lug your big ass into different positions.  someone who understands that you might need to take a break, or eat something, or get touched up frequently because you are sweating like a pig.  trust me, not just anyone can do maternity photography well.

funny thing, i actually got into shooting maternity last year for the first time.  my best friend's sister-in-law was pregnant, and i photographed her and her husband.  i loved it so much, and i have been doing it here and there ever since.  i guess my clock was *ahem* ticking, or something...fast forward to my pregnancy, and it was time to think about how my own shoot would look.

i chose to have a good friend of mine, pawel litwinski shoot me.  if you look at his site, you will see that he is actually an AMAZING car photographer.  and here is why i chose him...first, i wanted someone that i could get naked with, and they wouldn't be looking at anything but how the light was hitting me and my curves.  second, i knew he understood light and curves, since those are two main components of shooting cars.  and three, because he is a true artist, and that is what maternity shots are all about - fine art!

i chose to go all the way with my images - i'm not that shy, so getting naked wasn't bad for me at all.  a little cold in the hills, but totally worth it as far as i was concerned!  so, without further adieu....here are my shots - and i absolutely love them. if you don't want to see me nakey, then stop now :)

thank you pawel, for making my images so special and comfortable.  i will treasure them forever.  also, thank you to my sister ashley for my gorgeous hair, and my dear friend sarah for my makeup and wardrobe (that i did wear...)


if you feel like you have seen WAY too much of me, i warned you!   and by the way, the best time to have maternity shots done is in your 7th month!  go for it, you will not regret it!


xx

.i never want to see another saltine.

so once i found out i was preggers, my body was like, "cool, meet your new friend - vomit".  no joke - the day after i found out, i suddenly felt like i was in the bathroom more often than not.  i couldn't keep anything down, and i didn't want to eat, but i had to.  it was awful.


what's worse, is that it lasted for the next 4 months...

imagine yourself in the grocery store - you're walking down the aisles, picking out what you need, and then you cruise past the meat department....now picture yourself visibly dry-heaving from the sight and smell, while the meat man silently judges you.  i mean, he has no idea that you're pregnant, he probably thinks you are some overly dramatic vegan or something.  let me tell you how many times i almost lost my lunch in a public place...try at least twice a day.  and more times than i would like to admit (to my absolute horror), i actually would.  'oh, don't mind me, i'm just gonna throw up in this trashcan now...what, you're eating?  sorrrryyyyyyy'.  i wish i were making this up.


i survived on saltines, and hard candy.  it was brutal.
there were saltines everywhere - next to my bed, in the car, in my purse, on the coffee table...i might as well have (you guessed it) had one one a necklace just in case.  i had jolly ranchers coming out of my ears (god bless those delicious little candies!)


at around week 8 or 9, i had a complete breakdown.  i literally cried my eyes out about eating.  you totally realize how bad your eating habits were before you were pregnant.  my problem wasn't really eating bad stuff (except on occasion), mine was that i didn't eat often enough.  i would let myself starve all day, and then realize how hungry i was, and chow down.  this is bad, everyone.  it's not that i was deliberately not eating - i was busy, and just didn't think about it sometimes until i was literally ready to rip someone's head off.


so, when i got pregnant, and found out how often i needed to eat (and how much), i was struggling - big time.  lots of women are probably excited that they have an excuse to eat what they want, when they want, but it was really hard for me!  having to prepare food all the time, (and trying to make sure what i was eating was healthy) was hard enough - i guess what really made it worse, was that i was getting sick between eating, so when i would be sick, i would have to eat AGAIN.  it was a horrible cycle.  i felt like a cooking / eating/ vomiting machine.  plus, nick was still away, so i was doing everything around the house, looking after the dog, and still trying to work in between naps, crying, cooking and bathroom trips.


oh, those days were tough.  it was so wonderful when nick finally got home.  i will tell you more about that later.  lets just say he passed the test with flying colors.  thankfully, eating is much more enjoyable these days, but i still never want to eat another saltine in my life...or at least until my next pregnancy.


xx

.start at the beginning.

well, this story begins on may 14th, 2010 - i call it the pee heard 'round the world.


nick was away on tour (he is a musician) in europe.  i had just been away working in austin, tx on a photography tv show, and had been feeling kinda crappy (and fat).  i also had been suffering from my new friend, narcolepsy.  i could sleep anytime, anywhere - it was completely crazy.  my period didn't seem late, but i was never "regular" anyway, so i thought nothing of it.  my boobs were hurting, and when i say hurting, i mean HURTING! so, i guess it was safe to say that when my girlfriend sarah told me about 10 times to take a test, she was right.


luckily, i had a spare test sitting around the house (as all of us responsible twenty-somethings do...) sarah was over, so i got up from my mid-day nap (surprise, surprise) and did an unannounced sneak test.  i opened it, peed on the stick, and put it down to wait my 2:30 out.  it was the longest 10 seconds of my life - wait, did i say 10 seconds?  why, yes, i did - because when i happened to glance down at the test, the answer was already there - SCREAMING the obvious.


PREGNANT.


i felt a woosh over my entire body.  i was literally so pregnant that not even the pregnancy test had to take a third of it's normal time to figure it out.  i was feeling a little faint, and started to breathe.  hard.


by this time, i had been in the bathroom for a little longer than normal, and i hear sarah say "well......?"  i come out of the bathroom - in shock - and start crying, test in hand. not a cry of shame or sadness, more a cry of disbelief and reality.  i was so desperate for nick to be there, but he was 6,000 miles away AND gone for another few weeks.


i cried for a couple of minutes, and with each minute, the shock melted away, and the happy set in.  we celebrated that night by visiting some food trucks in the area.  it was really fun having a little secret, and sometimes blurting out - "i found out i was pregnant today!!" to strangers.  i still needed to tell nick, but the time difference wouldn't allow me to speak to him until later.


i wanted to tell him face to face, so i decided to skype him.  i wanted to see his reaction, and feel like i was there with him.  i had to wait until after 1am, which was excruciating.  finally, i saw his face, and in my semi-shaky voice said "babe, i'm pregnant" this is what his reaction looked like:

i was ready with the screenshot setup, so that i could have the exact second forever.  of course, i started crying, and so did he.  the only way it could have been better, would be if he was in the same room.


xx

.first things first.

my first post!  


i guess i should introduce myself - i am maria, a 30-year old photographer from los angeles.  recently, my husband and i moved to england to be closer to his family, and raise our own family...that's where the pregnant stuff comes in.  i am expecting our first child - a baby boy - on january 9th, 2011.  we are naming him jackson christopher, and couldn't be more excited to welcome him into the world...i said excited, not ready.


how terrifying is it to become a parent for the first time?!  i mean, having the responsibility to name a human is enough, let alone the responsibility of guiding this little human into a happy, well adjusted, successful adult.  it's enough to make you cringe - you question if you, yourself are a happy, well adjusted, successful adult. 
well, are you?  am i?  uh, sort of..


once you get past the initial shock, then you get happy, and then you get terrified again, and this is the cycle.  currently, i am in happyville - this could change at any time. now don't get me wrong, i am happy and excited all the time about having a little miracle to call my own, but the sheer terror i speak of can take the lead at any given moment.  like when you think about "omg, how the HELL do i use this nose frida thing?!  wait, i have to literally suck the snot out of this tube??" or "how will i know if there is something seriously wrong with him - am i gonna be one of those psycho moms who hover over the crib?!" to even as simple as "which freakin humidifier do i get - the cool mist that could have more bacteria, or the warm one, which kills bacteria, but could be dangerous because it heats up.....and let's not even talk about the noise it makes, the percentage of humidity it puts out, and how difficult it is to clean the damn thing!"


i mean, having a baby is intense!


and people, can we talk about what goes on with our bodies for a sec....i'm just sayin


so, this will be a journal.  a memoir of my time as a 30 year old, pregnant first-timer. i am hoping it won't stop there, either.  i hope to continue once jax is born, so i can tell you what it's like to have bodily fluids on you all the time, and how to combat a tired, crying, stubborn 2-year old.


bear with me, it could get bumpy!  i am hoping that some of you will be able to relate, or if you find yourself knocked up and terrified - you will see that you are not alone.  and if you aren't pregnant, or a guy, i hope it helps you understand what we go through, deal with, and can find it as funny as i do - (most of the time).


i leave you with a picture of our first ultrasound - when jackson was just a peanut, seahorse, alien creature.  (he was totally cute even then).

and a picture of me taken the same day as the ultrasound (i was already about 3 months here)

notice my little boobies - haha, not anymore!  i hope i get to keep em!


xx